Nigella Lawson *daydream*- What is it about this woman that gets so many guys to go absolutely gaga at the mere sight of her whipping together a pasta with mince and sherry on BBC Lifestyle (I do watch this channel occasionally for new easy ways to prepare onions without crying etc). Could it be her rich brown flowing locks of hair? Maybe. Could it be that fantastic British accent that just rolls off of her tongue and makes words like Radish sound sexier than Megan Fox in a form fitting black catsuit? Quite Possibly. I tend to think that the real reason for so many men’s infatuation with the Queen of Food Porn comes down to something a bit more complex- something that most guys may not even fully understand or be entirely aware about.
Sure, the fact that Nigella would be able to whip you up the most delicious home baked blueberry pie in no time and this along with the realisation that you’d be allowed to watch her and her rather plentiful bosoms knead the dough for at least five minutes before baking is most definitely a huge positive. Instead, I want all of the guys reading this to think back to some of your past relationships- what did most of these girls have in common with Nigella? For me it certainly wasn’t cooking, if you had to put all of the ghosts of girlfriends past in a kitchen the day would most certainly end in tears (because they all miss me so much obviously) and at least one person would lose a finger to the chopping board. Come on… think… Yup that’s right, to an extent they all mothered you.
Now we’ve all heard the adage that men generally tend to seek out long term female partners that have similar traits to their mothers *shudder*. Unfortunately, I agree with this, even if it is only just a little bit.
You see I think that sometimes guys find girls that mother them a little bit, enticing as life-partners. Take Nigella- with her you know that when you are sick in bed, she’ll make you a cup of homemade soup and you’ll pretend to feel a whole lot worse than you actually do (girls it’s a fact that us men tend to act like little kids when sick) and she’d pour out sympathy and promise you fantastic sex when you’re all better- JUST LIKE YOUR MOM, except for the sex bit of course *double shudder*. Its this particular type of mothering that when coupled with decent looks melts the wall of ice that usually encapsulates our hearts.
I think I’ll call it Nigellalove… Its when your significant other tells you not to stay out too late and leave the toilet seat down etc (like your mum once did) and then still laughs at you and takes pictures for Facebook when you return home blindly drunk and pass out sitting straight up on a chair in the lounge. You see, Nigella will make the most diet busting chocolate cake, tell you how bad it is for you and your hopes of a 28 waist and then right after that lick the chocolate off of the spoon and make its yummyness known with a sensual “MMMM”.
So that’s it, I think I’ve hit the nail on the head, MAYBE. Nigella is hot because of the fact that she’s accepted that certain things about the fattening qualities of chocolate cake cannot be changed… and it’s a very similar case with men- Girls, sometimes you just need to lick the spoon and go MMMM.
The only thing that really bothers me about this whole Nigella analogy is the fact that I still cant decide whether I’d rather have her as my sugar mama now while I’m in my 20’s or just plain mom while growing up *triple shudder*