Why do girls want boys they cant have?

As straight guys (yes I do realize that a whole bunch of gay guys love MyCityByNight just as much), by the time you’ve been a twenty-something for a good couple of years you are well aware of a phenomenon that I’ve dubbed non-single-snatching. You know the scenario, you’ve been a single bachelor living la vida loca and for as long as you can remember most of your efforts to woo mooiness have crashed to the ground in flames much like Steve Hofmeyer’s career. You know, you told a joke that was reasonably funny and the mooiness didn’t even laugh, not even a slight sympathy chuckle. Nothing.


Being the persistent bugger that you are, you kept at it and were rewarded for your tenacity with the attention and lovings of a complete and utter belter, who can hold a conversation, doesn’t eat only salad and gives the best head this side of Jenna Jameson. Things are awesome, until you being to notice that you’re getting a marked increase in the amount of bicep-squeezes, do-me eyes and giggles from other uber mooiness who aren’t yours to tickle. Could it be? Your success with one mooiness has made you more attractive to all other hotties… Hmm, so what the hell is that all about?

Well, single women are drawn to taken guys like George Michael is to being naked in public bathrooms. And I’m not even being sexist, they have done scientific studies on this stuff and everything. The mate poaching study conducted by social psychologists Melissa Burkley, Ph.D., and Jessica Parker, M.A., both from Oklahoma State University, was published in a 2004 issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. This is how the experiment went:

Men and women in the study were asked to describe their ideal romantic partner and were told they would be computer-matched with a like-minded student.  Researchers told half of the participants that the person with whom they were matched was single. They told the other participants that their “match” was currently in a romantic relationship. Participants then answered a series of questions on how interested they would be in pursuing a relationship with their match. 

Single women were much more interested in pursuing a relationship with a committed man than with a single man. Specifically, when researchers described the man as single, 59 percent of single women were interested in pursuing him.  However, when they described the exact same man as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent of the single women were interested. 

Men did not show this preference, and neither did women who were already in a relationship.

I figured that if you were more aware of the intricacies of non-single-snatching and in the know about some of the reasons why girls do this, you might be more equipped to be a better man, or not. With the assistance of some of my girl friends and the entire Sex in the City Boxset, I tried to keep more men faithful.


Girls want what they cant have and are looking for an ego boost:

Ever since the Garden of Eden, where Eve had a nibble of some fruit that God clearly wasn’t keen for her to chow and continuing to today, where mooiness stare longingly at designer shoes and high end handbags. Be it a man or handbag, the more tantalizingly out of reach it is, the more appealing it becomes. For both sexes the ultimate ego boost is the knowledge that you’re not just hot, but irresistibly hot. If a girl manages to get a guy to jeopardize his entire relationship for a little bit of steamy slap and tickle, she’s won bragging rights and feels as awesome as WonderWoman.

Women hear good things about taken men

Believe it or not, girls view who they date as a reflection of themselves. That’s why it’s in a girl’s best interest to give her boyfriend as many props as possible, they mention everything from penis size, between the sheets skills and the fact that you once saved 13 dolphins from tuna nets at every juncture that she can. By boasting to her friends and anyone who will listen, it becomes abundantly clear that you are some serious stud muscle, basically the female equivalent of her… Unfortunately this just adds to the intrigue and soon all the other girls, who now agree, are plotting to overthrow the Queen (so to speak).

Women see taken men as having desirable qualities

I once heard an awesome analogy for how the dating pool works. Think of potential partners like parking spaces surrounding a kiff club on a Friday evening. The best ones, meaning the ones closest to the jol, will be occupied almost solidly until closing. But as one gets farther from the bouncers at the front, the parking spots aren’t as good, so they open up with greater regularity or, in some cases, remain open permanently. In short, we believe that those who are single are single for a reason. All those who aren’t available are the ones worth going for as they have already been on a test run with their current significant ensuring their worthiness as dating material.

Taken men have confidence

Next time you’re out take extra care to have a look at who the most confident looking guy in the room is. Its not the dude buying Patron for everyone at the bar, it’s the dude with a mooiness on his arm, who’s totally digging every move he makes. I mean really, what more proof would one need that this dude is successful, intelligent and endlessly charming? These guys, guys, like Ryan Reynolds, are infinitely more natural, comfortable and cool.

This all adds up to a dude with, what can only be referred to as having incredible romantic gravity, pulling mooiness into his orbit and would also explain why everyone has been pinching my bum lately. Ha.

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Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...


  1. SS brilliant article, and sadly so true.
    Taken men are MOSTLY the ones who have attributes to offer. Shows commitment and devotion.
    But I must say – if I find out a guy has girl, it becomes a NO GO zone for me…

    Get your own ‘buddy’ ladies, and back off the ones that already have a lady on their arms!

      1. Oh I know!
        I’ve wanted to kill some of those slappers a few times when they tried to slip the claws into my men!
        No respect for urself, would lead to no respect for anyone elses relationship either…

  2. Oh and to add – it’s the I’m not interested & the non desperate attitude that’s a turn on…

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