Whats in a winning date?


Everything was going right (like in those old Toyota ads) and you leaned in to end the night off with a movie-esque romantic kiss at her front door- except she turned and gave you side cheek- waap waap waaaaaaap.

Why oh why, you ask? Maybe you’re just not getting the signs that the other person is consciously and for the greater part sub-consciously throwing out at you. A successful date doesnt always mean ending up naked within a reasonable proximity of each other- and this is a guide offered up by me to try and plot how well things have gone.

The person remembers you.

Ok this one pained me somewhat to admit but it usually is a good sign when you dont have to explain who you are or where you met before asking if they want to grab a scone and a rooibos tea. Although when I don’t remember who you are it may just be purely because I was slightly (understatement) inebriated (on joy of course) at the time.  

The person remembered what time to be ready.

If the little social encounter is at all important to the person they shouldnt make you wait (longer than the granted “this is Cape Town time” ten minutes allowed). If you’re stuck playing with the dog (no not like that) for ages while waiting for her to get ready, you are probably not lined up for a cracker of a night.

They are looking yummy.

If the person has very clearly put some effort into how they look take this as a huge positive- the date is ALREADY going well! If they look anything like Amy Winehouse combined with Courtney Love or they answer the door with slippers, pjs and toothpaste on the pimples on their face, be vigilant… no be scared.

They make eye contact.

During the date if there is a reasonable amount of eye-contact, things are going swimmingly. Direct eye contact is a very personal thing, with the eyes being windows to the soul and stuff – if they are avoiding this they might not be keen on you or alternatively, lacking in sleep and unable to use their eye muscles to lift their gaze. Maybe. In the language of international flirting (yes indeedy I am an expert and cunning linguist) this is a cornerstone, as is touching or sharing parts of the meal.

They order medium-priced dishes.

If they go for the lobster and two bottles of the most expensive bubbly on the menu, you’ve cleary landed yourself a bit of a gold digger and nobody likes them- just ask Kanye West. Run!! This date is not going well for you.

You laugh together.

If you both have a similar sense of humour, you could also share a lot of other things as well- (haha). If they lag at your jokes (even if they’re not that good) this is a really good sign.

The come in for coffee and end up staying over for the night-er.

While getting an invitation to spend the night is not the be all and end all od date success, it is a reasonably good indication that the other person likes you. Whatever you do, just remember to always practice safe sex!! Even if the person mentions that they want to see you again, the date has gone very well and you’re on your way to love, or a bonk or whatever you are searching for.

Im a guy with a very particular view of life… im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I’ll be sure to let you know…