What is that humming noise babe? It’s a VIBRATOR!!


I always enjoying the odd story here on MyCityByNight to break up the plethora of totally freaking awesome entertainment, music and lifestyle news that we pump out to you our MCBN Alumni on a daily basis. This is one of those events, that led me to think about the pressure placed on the modern man by vibrators… yes. Bzzzz… VIBRATORS.

I consider myself to be the ultimate mix of manliness… (what a statement). The reason why I believe that I have evolved to the upper echelons of the male species is because I have managed to embrace old world manliness (burning things, building shelters out of only leaves and bark, punching Grant Nash in the throat etc) as well as hold dear and close aspects of the new age man like understanding the needs of women and putting the toilet seat up (things that make you very desireable amongst the mooiness). However, the other night- my manly resolve was tested while in the deepest throws of passion… Let me set the scene…

The room was dimly lit with scented candles and appeared somewhat blurry like in a dream or a Days of our Lives Flashback (ok there were no candles, I was just trying to make myself seem awesome). In the midst of grabbing my mooiness’ sexy and telling her aaayyy (yes I did just quote a pop sing to illustrate the point that I was having sex) I was thrown off my usual groove by the sound of buzzing in the background. Immediately my mind flashed back to a conversation we had several months earlier about the use of a vibrator during sex and whether I would feel comfortable with it… Naturally I instantly thought she was going to sneak a vibrator into my ass when I turned my back. Thankfully- it was only my Blackberry, vibrating to let me know I had just got an IM from Kreg.

While pondering the days events over a bottle of wine, four painkillers, a pack of ciggys (I dont even smoke but it makes me feel like I am a real writer), I thought about that conversation I had with my mooiness some time back. I’m generally quite an open-minded chap, willing to try anything but for some reason when mention was made of using a vibrator during sex came up, I objected quite strongly. My response went along the lines of:

1. I’m pretty sure that I can do it better- I mean it’s like Crazy White Boy said “I can love you better”.

2. I don’t care that it is “only” a vibrator and not a dildo… or a vibrating dildo.

3. I don’t mind if you do use it as a far lesser subsititute to my bedroom skills when I am not around. Even in this case don’t tell me how often you use it or how- you wouldn’t want to know that I actually like having a wank to asian fart porn would you? (I mean I don’t but I am just trying to make a point.)

Now before I get shot down by Martha Stewart and all of the other self-loving ladies out there as someone who is threatened by a little buzzing playtoy let me show you the root of my concern by doing the old switcharoo.

If in the middle of intercourse (haha, you all just imagined me naked again- some of you will have more point of reference than others naturally) I had to all of a sudden whip out a Matildas Flesh Light fake vagina and started randomly humping it and groaning and stuff, would you not be just a little bit put off of your normally top draw sexy delivery? Oh what’s that you say? Your vag is better than some plastic fake cookie? Ha you see, you’ve just made my point.

It’s really a tough situation that Sex in the City and other pro-dildo media have forced all of us guys into- If we aren’t open to a massive wobbling purple cock, some women call us insensitive, which isnt fair. We totally cry at the end of Terminator 2 when Arnie melts himself in the lava pit. Sure there is a bit of difference between the GIGANTIC Jack Hammer Rabbit Penis Dildo and a small little Humbug vibrator but I still find them equally as threatening.

I kind of think vibrators and dildos should be left to when you partner isnt around… unless you’re going for that whole multiple holes arousal vibe… that’s a whole different post altogether.

What do you all think, would you be open to using play toys during your sexy times? I especially want to hear from the guys on this one.

Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...

Comments 7

  1. I think this depends on the couple. Firstly, it’s a matter of science or biology; women last longer than men, so extra firepower isn’t necessarily a bad thing if they’re both comfortable with it.

    Secondly, I assume the author is the type of guy who would be perfectly happy to invite a second mooiness in for a ménage à trois, but would probably be offended if she wanted another man.

    1. Peter! You know me so well… things tend to get awkward in a 2 guy 1 girl situation if your dongs touch 🙂

      So I assume you’d be ok with your mooiness using a dildo/vibrator during sexy times? Im interested to know if I’m the only prude out there…

  2. My lady regularly calls in the cavalry in the form of her battery operated friend. She finds it really hard to have a ‘happy ending’, even by herself. If she is by herself, using her little friend, she still takes at least half an hour to get there.
    I do the usual stuff, then while I am going at it, she breaks out the battery operated wing man to assist with the ‘man in the boat’.
    I really dont have a problem with it at all, because it only comes out when things are in full swing, or if we just had a quickie, she might decide to get some satisfaction herself too, after I am done.
    At the end of the day, we both get satisfaction, and I am totally fine with it.

    1. in cases like yours Francois, the extra help comes in handy I’m sure, I mean you’re Sting or anything right? 😉 nice one!

  3. If you want my thoughts on this subject kenny…i think you and your lady should make a turn by adult world and pick up a bunch of interesting things!! haha! No reason to feel offended! I would have no problem with it all!! in fact i think it could be fun!

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