Weird condom names & box photos- A science in itself


I remember when I was younger the first time I ever had any interaction with a condom I was left feeling slightly confused and convinced that even after watching like a zillion educational videos, I was totally unprepared for sexy time in any form. You see, unfortunately the very first condom that I held in my hand was the good old Contempo Rough Rider- because as anyone who is my age will remember- that was all peeps ever used to speak about at school. Yes… you know the one I’m talking about… Our favourite (or not so favourite) blonde straight outta the 80’s.

Questions started to race through my head at light speed… Why did she look so nuts??? What in the hell were the studs for??? Did they really need to call it ROUGH RIDER?

Many years passed and the other day while browsing the aisles of the 24 hour Engen for Big Korn Bites and prophylactics, I stood in front of the massive selection and had a good gander. One thing was fairly apparent- all condoms on the planet have the most ridiculous names and at least 63.7% of them have some unrelated picture on them.

Take the following for examples, complete with their on-box description:

King Size- King Size are extra large, giving mazimum comfort designed for those that need a bigger size

Xperiences- Be adventurous with the ultimate variety pack from Contempo! Xperience the best with a variety of condoms and a 3-speed vibrating ring

Midnight- Erotically ebony in the form of a black condom perfect for those wild moments

Rough Rider- Have hundreds of raised rubber studs, offering maximum sensation and excitement

Endurance- Designed for those who want to prolong their sexual performance and excitement
Its all very mad. Why can’t they just have normal photos on them- or be called something a little more accurate? It forces me to go and try them out just to see what the hell the one called “HEAT” actually does or maybe it’s just me.
Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...

Comments 2

  1. lol… how are these names weird?

    endurance – makes u last longer
    rough rider – ribbed, studded, rough. makes sense
    heat – heat
    feather light – ultra thin
    king size – extra large
    lubricated – extra lube
    ExperienceS – note the “s”, which means more than one experience, hence a fitting name for a veriety pack.

    And as for the photos… Durex boxes are prob the best packaging, but the others show half naked chicks. Imho that’s pretty appropriate for condom packaging.. not random… what would u suggest Ricky?

    1. I guess you’re right… maybe the names aren’t that bad, apart from rough rider- that one still makes me shudder.

      I would suggest they put mooiness on there- not these weird looking 80’s vibe chicks. Or something alluring- like the the silhouette of a penis. Wait does that make me gay? Oh well.

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