A few months back I was in Jozi and out at the Newscafe in Sandton on Thursday night, wearing a collared shirt, drinking way too much and pronouncing time as “taaaime”. It was during this particular conversation that my mate (I’ll leave his name out of this one) and I started talking about sex with random people and whether we’d be comfortable taking part in an orgy.
“Ok so when you say orgy, what exactly are we talking about here”
– is how the conversation started off. We decided for the purposes of this particular drunk conversation we would exclude Spitroasting (2 guys & a girl), Scissoring Sisters (3 girls) or Blind Luck (1 guy & 2 girls). As per our description, an orgy can only take place between 4 or more people meaning that one time we high-fived each other in a spitroast totally didn’t count. Moving on…
Over time media and literature has exposed to two basic types of orgies- those between people wearing masks organized by people sharing a love for random acts of sex and then those wear one girl gets banged by an entire room of men in sneakers. The latter only really happens in porno’s and is often preceded by meaningless dialogue about a broken pipe or a previously un-established world record for being blasted in the face by semen. So naturally, it was the first, well-organised and rather strict-ruled orgy that we were interested in.
I’ve been encouraged to join an online network of “purveyors of consenting adult entertainment” a number of times (every Tuesday). I’ve never really been interested due to the fact that the club only had 90 members, meaning that inevitably I would run into one of the other members at some point, making it all awkward. And isn’t that what everyone really wants out of a good orgy- the chance to put on a mask, pomp a couple of randoms, never having the possibility of knowing what they did in the daylight?
Later in the conversation with my mate told me about these parties that went down in a mansion hidden deep within one of Jozi’s sheltered suburbs where the focus of the night’s entertainment was a dark room. When I probed for more info (maybe not the best way to describe it), I found out that this particular room had zero light coming into with only one rule attached to entry into it- there were no rules. Basically, you would go into a the dark room and fuck literally anything you could lay your hands on. And yes… both guys and girls were allowed into the room.
I’ve considered popping down to one of the locals I know about here in Cape Town, but at the risk of getting a cock in my ear while I sit and take notes at the gay joint, The Hothouse, I’ve decided that I’d leave my desire for burning journalism dormant until I got a proper invite from straighter folk. I think attending one of those privately organized orgies just to see whether things really went down like they did in Eyes Wide Shut and whether people in South Africa would actually be exhibitionist enough to do shag a bunch of people they did not and would never get to know, would make for great reading.
I mean, I wont take part or anything- I’ll just report.
Why did I write this?