The art of traffic flirting


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One of the rather unfortunate parts about life is the fact that you will at some point need to sit in traffic. Whether its to work in the mornings or on your way to a Celine Dion concert, you will at some point in your existence on this bright blue and green earth have to endure moving at a snail’s pace towards your destination surrounded by other cars and people. So… Why not make it a slightly more pleasurable experience by indulging in a light spot of traffic flirting.

Now you can understand that this is not something that you jump into without a bit of a gameplan or at least know-how shared by your main man Ricky Bynight. The most basic rule of all is- DO NOT try and flirt with a girl if her mom is in the car with her- come to think about it, if she’s getting a lift somewhere with her mom she’s probably far too young for you anyways. Abiding by this rule will save you the ego-bruising antics of an angry mom purposefully switching to another lane to stop you from giving her daughter the “eyes”.

Speaking of which, this is a good place to start. If you happen to roll by a rather fit mooiness while in traffic, a good indication of someone keen to play, is a gaze held just long enough to see a glimpse of the soul. Now this is where things can go South- stare too long and she’ll think you’re weird- look away too soon and you’ll have lost the opportunity to drop a little smile, hopefully getting one in return thus paving the way for a beautiful interaction. Slightly less tricky is a car full of girls- they’re generally more willing to indulge a bit of naughty flirting spurred on by the estrogen of their fellow passengers and the need to procreate…

So… You’ve made eye contact, maybe even got a little smile in return- now comes the important part, moving it beyond the glass separating you from adding yet another person as a Facebook friend. There is a particular approach that has worked fantastically for me in the past- even as recently as this morning- you know who you are. First of all roll your window down slightly and try and mouth out something arb about the weather or life, but nothing that could be misinterpreted as you saying anything about sausage- eg “I’d like to take you hostage”- wait, actually you shouldn’t be saying that either. If you’re lucky she’ll follow your lead and roll down her window, intrigued by what you have to say. Choose carefully though- if she doesn’t have electric windows as standard in her car, you are more than likely setting yourself up for a fail- she’s not liable to lean all the way over to use the passenger window winder to chat to some strange guy.

If you’ve got them to roll down the window you must now work very quickly as you might not be next door to them for too much longer- traffic is often unbalanced like that. So maybe drop something like- “I normally don’t do this but, considering that this traffic is going absolutely nowhere, I might as well chat to you.” Either the said mooiness will lag (laugh) and continue the convo (ask questions about where she’s off to & whether she travels this way every morning etc) OR you’ll get shot down and plummet back to earth in flames.

If its going well, push on for the digits but otherwise play it cool and wait till the next time you catch her in traffic to start up another convo and get her number… Your encounter will be a super sick ice-breaker when you do eventually meet up and if things work out you’ll have a nice story to tell your kiddies about how you first met.

Don’t be scared to do it, either it’ll work out perfectly or some random person will think you’re a bit odd, just remember, its not about the car that you are in, although it doesn’t hurt being in an Aston Martin instead of an Uno fire when engaging in a bit of a traffic flirt.

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Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...

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