Terrifying troubles of a no.2


I know that this is something that all of you think about, but never ever talk about! Probably because poo as a topic of conversation doesn’t lead to anyone solving world hunger.

In the past you might have been chilling out a date’s place waiting for them to get ready when all of a sudden Mr Hanky has needed to pop out and spread some christmas cheer. Eeek! Gasp! So now what- do you go off to your date’s bathroom and run the risk of having a Dumb and Dumber moment where the toilet is broken unbeknown to you up until the point where you have to flush your sneaky deposit. Hmm, I don’t know if I’d take the risk! I mean shit I start to breathe more frantically when I need to have a wee at a date’s place because I’m worried that the sound of the splashing will be somehow inappropriate.

Could you think of anything more embarrassing than explaining to your date that you’ve left a horrid looking floater stuck there?? Even if it does eventually make its way down to the home of Master Splinter and the Ninja Turtles there’s always the worry that it’ll be smelly instantly negating any good done by your Hugo Energise that you’ve invested so much of your hard earned cash. I think that this is probably a whole lot more terrifying for the girls out there- I know how you all like to pretent that when you go to bathroom its all sparkles and glitter- could you imagine the convo between you and your boy? “THAT thing came out of YOU???!!”.

Yes so you see what I mean- Well what I recommend is hold it in- rather don’t take the chance and if you absolutely have to- run some water to drown out the sounds of well… you know.

Maybe I think too much and nobody actually cares… Hell I don’t know!

Im a guy with a very particular view of life… im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I’ll be sure to let you know…