At MyCityByNight, we do our fair share of drinking and partying and figured that while we were out on the piss, we might as well solve some of the World’s age old problems. MCBN Alumni, we give you our latest offering of PUB CONVERSATIONS… The chats we have while getting loose, recorded for your benefit.
Why in all the time that he’s been on TV has Riaan Cruywagen never aged? (Time spent discussing: 25 minutes)
After debating his hair and the fact that it never moves, along with a rather mysterious love for figs, Stacky recounted a story. This one time, he was confronted in a dark alley by someone who looked like a vampire but also a lot like Riaan. A fight ensued where the strange looking fellow tried to take a bite out of Stacky’s neck- full Bloedsuiers style. This led us to conclude, using drunk logic, that Riaan was in fact an immortal vampire himself, sent from the future to save us all from robots. Yes we know it doesn’t make sense now, but it definitely did at the time.
If you absolutely had to mack one, would you rather jump in the sack with Sarah Boyle or Oprah? (Time spent discussing: 15 minutes)
After discussing relative thigh size and felatio skills of these two lovely ladies we decided that the Big O was the better bet as there was a chance that she would fall in love after our experiencing our sexual skills and after-sex cuddle conversation. This would mean we’d probably take a lakka (nice or big for all you foreigners) share of her fortune and also maybe get a reality show on her brand new Oprah Winfrey Network. It would also add to our interracial street cred. You see, everybody wins.
If you threw a tennis ball at a traffic officer who was speed trapping on the side of the road and it hit him in the face, would he come after you? (Time spent discussing: 2minutes)
No. And besides why would you care?! He should be thankful it wasn’t burning hot tar and feathers instead.
What is the youngest mooiness that we are allowed to engage with? And when we say engage we mean- engaaaaage- nudge nudge, wink wink (Time spent discussing: 30 minutes)
There were several theories that came into play during this conversation, almost all of which were followed by an “I’d hit that” and high 5’s all around the table. First off we started with the whole, divide your age and add 5- after which we retracted that formula as being stupid given what happened last week, while out and about on the town (you know who you are). Maybe it had something to do with parents as well- if you ever had to fetch a mooiness at her house while her dad was helping her with her English homework, it was probably best to give her a wide berth. After much drinking and high fiving, we settled with- “If there’s grass on the wicket, then its ok to play”. Our waitress shook her head at us in dismay and then proceeded to hand over her number. BOOM! Success.
Stay tuned for our next installment and let us know if you’d be keen to join us for a bit of pub philosophy…