East London has brought many proud achievements to South Africa over the decades, Jody Scheckter 1979 Formula One World Champ, Marc Boucher before Madonna’s dentist got hold of him, Norman Catherine who produced artworks that look as if my 3-year old niece took a week long peyote trip with a paint brush, and finally that awful case of genital warts you got while road tripping through “obscure” parts of South Africa. But what we don’t usually accredit it with is world class electronic music connoisseurs: enter Kosta K. Somehow, as if launching a Chinese takeaway in Sicily, he’s managed to make a flower grow within in a desert, bringing high-end electronica to the Border region. MCBN caught up with him, to see what nuclear testing sight he grew up near as a youngin’ and what made this mad man so…. Human?
MCBN: So here at MCBN we’re known for our journalistic integrity and like to really explore unchartered waters of personal inspection. That being said, how old were you when you lost your virginity and was she a special gal?
Kosta K: Mmmmm, im terrible with vocab. So words like journalistic, integrity, uncharted and explore confuse me…. I lost my virginity at 15 in Greece, she is a lovely girl and is now married with two kids. My friend and I once had a threesome with her. Don’t tell anyone.
MCBN: You run the largely successful label Electric Sushi that houses our good friend’s Pascal and Pearce. What do you look for when you select a tune and what is your ethos behind the gig as it seems to be probably the best exposure for local talent around at the moment.
Kosta K: Um, Well its easy…. Im pretty much just like you or anyone else…. Except when I wake up in the morning and I put my jeans on…. I sign hit records. No to be honest, it just kind of falls into place if you would play it in a club, sign it.
MCBN: What is your functional role at the company? Do people call you sir and have you had an affair with your secretary?
Kosta K: The company…. Mmmm technically my assistant is a black HP laptop…. I have had one or two one hand affairs with it…. Depends how late at night and how lonely I am.
MCBN: What is the filthiest thing you have ever done for money?
Kosta K: Go down to Cape Town Harbour, just behind that little cornor by the aquarium. There I am known as Kouwerou…. Sushi doesn’t pay all the bills and Pasci and Pearce don’t come cheap….
MCBN: During your DJ years you must have heard some tunes to make 85 year old grey women kinda clammy. What is the best track? past, present and future?
Kosta K: Booka Shade – Manderine Girl, changed my life.
MCBN: Whats the weirdest thing you have ever seen while spinning?
Kosta K: A wolf. See Caption A (Go to the end of the interview there i have placed the captions for your viewing pleasure)
MCBN: I would hate to have to go through a roadblock at 5am after a night where Jack Daniels became an Olympic sport, with a surname like yours, so just off the bat I totally don’t blame you for adopting the namesake of Danny. So do you also take it in the batty or do you have a femalien humanoid stashed in the closet somewhere?
Kosta K: Again I don’t understand the words used in this question who is danny? but, is Yes okay? Yes! Can I have more that one?
MCBN: More to the point, if you had to kiss a man, gun to the head situation, who would it be?
Kosta K: Craig Stack
MCBN: We visit the Soul Candi website and see a world of splendor. It really is a thing of awesomeness. A lil birdy told us this was your doing. What is your job at Soul Candi and is it true that DJ Fresh is a miniature alien operating the new 7 foot black guy suite from Sony?
Kosta K: Ha, No I didn’t do the SC Website, I used to work there now I kind of do, making music for the label. Fresh is definitely an alien, is he black?
MCBN: If you could DJ alongside any of the world’s greats, dead or alive, who would it be and where?
Kosta K: That is an insanely difficult question, I would rather watch someone to be honest. I went to Ministry once and snuck in the dj box with Steve Angelo and Sebastian Ingrosso…. That was awesome they were so cool and bummed smokes from me all night and my one mate even kissed Steve…. They truly are amazing.
MCBN: You’re getting along in years now, your obvious erectile dysfunction aside, who do you rate highly as young up and comers to look out for in the future?
Kosta K: This is a very hard question. Funny you ask as to the rest of the world “Afrojack”, “Avicii” are up and coming and they already have massive careers and warrant remix fees in the 1000s of Euros. So technically anyone could be up and coming even someone like Supply with a plethora of releases under his name already. I think I have just about avoided that question pretty well. Everyone on Sushi is up and coming and will do well 🙂
MCBN: Finally our dreaded “Would you rather…” question. So, Would you rather have a penis so small even Caster Semenya would think you were a bit odd and be forced only to be allowed to wear clothes on Wednesday… or would you rather have no penis but two 9 inch veiny guys protruding from each of your elbows?
Kosta K: Ok the question before was nothing on this. I think for this I will use the Chewbacca defense.
Do you know that Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it, that does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this question? Nothing. This question just does not make sense, and therefore I do not have to answer.
Thanks Kosta, We appreciate your time and look forward to receiving your sexual harassment law suit in the not too distant future!
Kosta K: CAPTIONS BELOW!