Every now and again in the movies you’ll notice what seems to be a very intelligent doctor checking a patient’s chart to see what the hell is wrong with the poor sod… Ever wonder what they’ve written on those charts???
Well here are a couple of the most classic REAL examples that I could find on the net…
– She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
– Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
– On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
– The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
– The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
– Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
– Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
– The patient refused autopsy.
– The patient has no previous history of suicide.
– Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
– Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
– Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
– Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
– Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
Doctors… Not as smart as we think 🙂