Custard X, Bazique Festival debutante, shares his experience & it’s wild

We went to the weird, wacky, wild and wonderful Bazique Festival and it was out of this world...


All words by Custard X
All images by Closure

When I first heard of Bazique, I initially thought, mainly because of my poor hearing and vivid imagination, about the man from the old testament. Turns out that’s Ezekiel, and now that I think about it, the names don’t even sound similar. Fast forward to about a week and a bit later, and I found myself in the middle of a sub-Saharan paradise, with bright lights, exotic humans and the kind of music you’d hear on Michael Jackson’s iPod.

After a young trip over the monumental Solaris pass, also known as the mini Drakensberg, (i just made that up) we entered a small town known as the apple capital of South Africa, yep, you guessed it, Grabouw. We were met at the entrance by happy faces, belonging to that of Orion Security. We are very familiar with one another because the likes of Ricardo Booysen and I used to play hockey back in high school. His team provides excellent event security and handles every situation with the utmost professionalism. Bless them. I thought back to this while I was tripping my face off to the melodies of Jews for Techno. A weird thing to be thinking about while knee deep in not-so-tech beats, I know. Setting up for me was very easy, mainly because I didn’t bring anything with me.”not even a bag?” Na, I lost all my luggage back in the ‘great bag theft of 16’, so once we had parked the vehicle, it ‘was go’ time. Entering ‘through the exit’ as it were, was a non-issue for me, because I was legally allowed to be there. (For those of you who don’t know, I have broken into every event this city has to offer) (name an event – I’ve been there). Blame it on timing, I don’t know, but the first thing that I did after entering the gates was climbing on a bus, a psychedelic bus if I may.

My thoughts exactly, what was a bus doing in the middle of a desert? Then I realized just what I was dealing with. The location was vast and it stretched for as far as I could see. Yes, I am visually impaired. On the bus, I was greeted with an ice cold hunters dry, which I immediately declined, because I don’t drink Juice. Although I hadn’t eaten since last week. “You’ve only been here for a day, bra?” Ya, I know but the supermodel life gets the better of me. (I’m a hand model, okay?) I found myself at the Jack Rabbits, home of one of the greatest festival burgers I had ever eaten. Succulent. Juicy. I digress… stumbling through the desert terrain, I followed the northern lights which led me to the main stage. Foreign Beggars have been an inspiration to ‘younger me’ for years. Getting to witness them live was a dream come true, and they even performed I. AM. LEGION (the collaboration with Noisia). I quite frankly, LOST MY SHIT. I call my phone ‘shit’. Like, I lost my phone during their performance, which is very unfortunate, because it’s on contract and stuff. Who cares anyway, I can always spend the next 7 months paying it off, but I’ll never be able to relive these moments. Speaking of unforgettable moments, seeing a personal friend of mine K-$ play at yet another big-time stage was mesmerizing.

The Frisky Disco was home to some of the funkiest beats and it had me grooving like an auntie with a freshly installed hairpiece. The Pop bottles stage, otherwise known as the ‘art car’ featured a mint condition old school mini cooper, which, to be completely honest, I tried to take home with me, multiple times (like I really tried hard). With the likes of VJ Jonno, Speedsta, Bhashkar and Dj Dimplez blessing us with their hip-hoppy beats, we were kept thoroughly entertained. There must also be a massive shoutout to the sound guys on the Beach Bar stage… the guys from Funktion Koncepts had that ground literally shaking from the start to finish. Big up guys, that dance floor was heaving… Lastly, I had been following Atmos for some time, not in real life, on social media, of course. Getting the chance to meet him after his set at the Protea stage, created by world famous Daniel Popper and his partner on duty, Brian Tompkins, was nothing short of unbelievable.

Someone took a photo of us, but ill never get the chance to see it, purely because I don’t know who or what that kind soul was. Considering the state I was in, I managed to take one last bus to the Chill Temple which I had located back when I first arrived. I want to know what ‘out the box’ thinker puts a hexagonal glass room in the middle of this Baziqueland. I later found out it was called The Greenhouse and it was made by Daniel Popper and dressed by Gordy and Phil of the Red Telephone. I need to shake that mans had because that was the best sleep I had in weeks. Not to mention the unbelievably weird people I met in there. They were rehearsing for a play or something. Thankfully, I’m a gentleman who respects the arts, so I covered my eyes and ears, and proceeded to pass out in an exquisitely constructed avery.

This was the first instalment of Bazique and its ability to incorporate live performers with international DJs was astounding. Partygoers were spoilt for choice as the location provided you with complete and utter freedom. Unbelievable pieces of art could be found wherever you looked, and I’m not just talking about the women.

Head my warning, reader – do not miss the next instalment of Bazique. Find me on twitter @Custardxcpt


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Rumoured to have the blue-prints for Krang's TechnoDrome, stolen straight from Dimension X, he’s the type of guy who exudes so much coolness that he adds whole countries on Facebook at one time instead of just people. Always up for a party and a Tequila shot or two this is the guy who we always call first, both before and after a night out…