#ComedyNight @ HQ – ROUND 2 – Win A Hamper!


Knock, knock. Who’s there? Headquarters (HQ) comedy night round 2! Wednesday 19 June 2013 the sophisticated urban hotspot will host a night of good food, good spirits and plenty of giggles. The elegant steakhouse-come-bar have made no bones about the fact they offer the best steak experience in town; and now they’ve added tickling your funny bone to their list of accomplishments.

The night will be hosted by premier South African funny man, Paul Snodgrass, and he’ll be accompanied by headliner Rob van Vuuren and Gareth Woods. The entertainment will take place in the bar area; think exposed heritage brick walls, moody lighting, and leather seating. Cocktails, wine and premium spirits will be on offer, paired with new and delicious tapas from the bar menu. Just picture the scene: outside it’s wintery cold, while inside you’re snug in Cape Town’s iconic Heritage Square, smashing red wine and delectable bar snacks. The word on the street is that this comedy night will also be accompanied by a set three course meal and Grants Whisky tasting, taking place before the giggles.

If you really want to make a night out of it —book a table for dinner beforehand and try HQ’s award winning sirloin steak that comes served simply with their signature Café de Paris butter, and thinly cut fries, with a classic salad to start.

The dinner will commence at 7pm followed by the comedy show at 8:30pm. HQ has just given us a reason to love winter. Call 021 424 6373 to make a reservation.


You like to laugh? You want a 3 course meal? Feel like enjoying the finest comedy Cape Town has to offer? This is what you’ll win:

The give-away include:
– 1 x double tickets
– Each receives a 3 course meal and Grants pairing (tasting)
– Followed by the comedy

Simply comment below with your full name and your favourite joke! GO!

Winners will be announced tomorrow at just after midday 🙂

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Rumoured to have the blue-prints for Krang's TechnoDrome, stolen straight from Dimension X, he’s the type of guy who exudes so much coolness that he adds whole countries on Facebook at one time instead of just people. Always up for a party and a Tequila shot or two this is the guy who we always call first, both before and after a night out…


  1. “Comic Sans walks into a bar, bartender says, ‘We don’t serve your type.'”

    Roxanne Davids

  2. Adrian Phipps – This one always gets a laugh

    “Would I lie to you?”

    A young man suffered a devastating injury of having one of his eyes put out when he was a young boy. He grew up normally but was very self aware and shy about his problem. His family having no health insurance had to opt for a wooden eye for a replacement. The boy soon knew ridicule as no other could. He responded to the taunts as best he could.

    The young man had several close friends who supported him in everything he did and were protective as well. As they grew up together they all had various problems which they overcame, but none so serious as the young man.

    Finally in high school, at the last school dance the young men were standing together when they all decided to ask a group of young ladies to dance. The young man was petrified of being made fun of once more. His friends told him who they were going to ask to dance and who he should ask to dance.

    The young lady he was told, had a similar social issue much like him. She was born with a hairlip, was very self conscience, and nervous as well. His friends went one by one asking the young ladies to dance. Soon it was his turn.

    He walked up to her and asked, “Would you like to dance with me?”

    The young lady replied excitedly, “WOULD I ?!?!”.

    He responded, “Hairlip! Hairlip!”. And ran away.

  3. Question: What did the bread say to the toaster?
    Answer: Just going to stand there and watch me burn, but thats alright because I like the way it hurts!

  4. Police: where do u live?
    Me: with my parents
    Police: where does ur parents live?
    Me: with me
    Police: where do u all live?
    Me: together
    Police: where is ur house?
    Me: next to my neighbors house
    Police: where is your neighbors house?
    Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
    Police: tell me
    Me: next to my house

  5. Why in our lifetimes was there a programme called Dogs with Jobs? They used to put it on at 11.30am! I resented a programme called Dogs with Jobs being put on when they knew unemployed people would be watching. – Russel Brand (To me this is a funny joke)

  6. I once bought a pack of Zoo Biscuits and on the packaging it said “do not open if seal is broken”

    I opened it…

    …and the elephant was broken

  7. Mummy, mummy why do I keep on going round in circles?
    Pipe down son or else I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

    Lame one from way back when…but I’d like to win all the same!

  8. A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
    “Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”
    The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
    “Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
    “Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”
    “Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

  9. Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

    A: To get to the second hand shop.

  10. A skinny white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pounds of testicles. Turner Brown.” The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and shaking him: “What’s wrong with you?” In a weak voice th elitle guy says: “What exactly did you say to me?” The big dude says: “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me: I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 lbs, I have a 20 inch cock and my testicles weigh 3lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown.” The small guy says: “Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I THOUGHT YOU SAID ‘TURN AROUND’.”

  11. A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck. A drunk staggered up to her and said ,”Hey! where’d ja get the pig?” The woman replied,” You drunken fool, that’s no pig — it’s a duck!” And the drunk said,” Quiet, I was talking to the duck.

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