In America people would like everything to taste like bacon- even lubricant. The idea is that if you for whatever reason don’t enjoy giving blowjobs, but do enjoy the taste of some fresh bacon, you can buy some of this bacon lube and make the experience as pleasureable as Saturday morning’s breakfast. J&D’s Foods is a Seattle-based company which strives to make everything taste like bacon and they’re the one responsible for the latest in piggy-flavoured products.
What started out as an April Fools joke eventually became a reality when the company was flooded with emails from people asking where they could purchase the product, leading them to put it into production.
They tested the product on an over-enthused intern called Martin who had a bit of a pork addiction- J&D’s eventually perfected the flavour. Described as ‘The world’s first bacon-flavoured personal lubricant and massage oil’, Baconlube has given breakfast in bed a whole new meaning. Only 3,000 bottles of the gammon inspired massage-oil have been made, ready to distribute to a waiting list that already exceeds that number.
I’m quite amped… I love bacon and could think of nothing better than getting a sensual massage from my mooiness and then smelling like breakfast after. Or maybe I’m not.