Aunt Muriel speaks- we listen


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Right, everyone finally got their acts together and sent through some pressing questions about life and love for Aunt Muriel to answer… We selected some of the questions that we thought were really interesting and sent them off to our resident Agony Aunt.

As per usual, she offered some very sound advice- happy reading, I hope your problems are alleviated…

Broken ride, broken heart-

Hi Aunt Muriel. I’m really hoping that you will be able to help me out. You see the other day, I left to go to work, as a I always do, leaving my hubby to watch tv like he always does before making his way to his work around the corner from our house. My car started stalling inexplicably and then it broke down about a kilometre or so away from our house forcing me to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldn’t believe my eyes!!!! He was in our bedroom with the next door neighbour’s daughter!

I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour’s daughter is 19. We’ve already been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down in tears and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I am a complete wreck and need some advice!

Muriel- 

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. I recommend that you start by checking that there is nothing clogging the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

Hope that helps.

Looking for “the man”

My friends and I have been trying to come up with a list of attributes for the ideal man. So far we’ve been able to come up with: tall (sorry Ricky), witty, kind, compassionate, intelligent & employed at a good job. Do you have anything to add to this considering all the years of experience with men that you’ve had?

Muriel-

First of all, thank you for making me sound like a slut.

The ideal man is rich, sophisticated, well-travelled and spectacular in bed. He has a job in the City or is self employed and independently wealthy. He owns at least two properties and understands that a woman needs a decent wardrobe if she is to look her best.  If you cant match a man with these characteristics just ask Kreg or Ricky out- they aren’t so bad.

Ungracious gas

I unexpectedly let out a fart in a meeting the other day and I was sooo embarrassed. If you fart unexpectedly in a situation where you had rather it hadn’t happened at all, what is the best thing to say or do to help get over the embarrassment of it all?

Muriel-

This is something that unfortunately happens more and more often the older you get so I have got a couple of good things that you can say that could help you from you pit of embarassment.

“Beat that”

“Pardon me?”

“And for my next trick…”

“Name that tune?”

 “Was that you?”

 “Look at someone else strangely and move away.”

 “Did anyone just see that duck get stepped on??”

Wait until someone says something about it then pull off the whole “You smelt it, you dealt it” card which isnt supposed to work but it does for me, every single time.

Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...

Comments 1

  1. Auntie where u learn so much about cars? Kak funny!!!

    Stepping on ducks is the way forward

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