Aunt Muriel gives her 1st bit of advice

MCBN- Right, so the time has finally come for Aunt Muriel to dish out some advice to all those of you plagued by the troubles of everyday life… What Kreg and I have done, is selected 3 of the most “relevant & pressing” issues sent through to our inbox that we think MyCityByNight’s very own agony aunt will be able to help with- and let us just say one thing… You guys and girls are seriously weird.


Wedding Woe asked- “My boyfriend recently proposed to me and I accepted because I’m madly in love with him… The trouble is I absolutely HATE the ring he’s got me. Aunt Muriel, do you think I can tell him that I think its kak? Will he be crushed? I mean I’ve got to wear this on my finger until we get married and he hopefully gets me something less hideous.”

Aunt Muriel- 

But darling, do you actually want to marry a man who has such terrible taste in the first place? I mean, he didnt even have the intelligence to ask your BFF what you would like? I honestly shudder to think what the clothes he wears look like… Do you maybe buy them for him? If you absolutely must marry this man then for goodness sake be honest about the ring, you can’t wear a monstrosity on your finger day in and day out, it will exhaust you and eventually you’ll end up murdering him with a spoon.

Bored Betty asked- “I am bored with my current boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s lovely, caring and very sweet, but sometimes I want him to be a bit more badass and maybe rip my clothes off and shake me around a bit, while im cooking dinner. Should I maybe get myself a bad boy instead or would that just be adding to the adage that nice guys always finish last?”

Aunt Muriel-

First of all, what you’re wanting sounds a bit like domestic violence to me- us girls often do enjoy a man who’s strong and knows what he wants, much like the pirate who deflowers the princess and asks questions later… but from my experience it’s the bad boys that finish FIRST…usually after 30 seconds or so… Most women are lucky to have a ‘lovely, caring and very sweet’ man, who’s worst quality is being a bit boring and not constant farting, cheating and an addiction to the sex services of prostitutes. I think you should let him find someone who appreciates him, bitch.

Pearls of Wisdom asked- “Pearls of wisdom… Do you have any for me Aunt Muriel?”

Aunt Muriel-

Ooh do I… My several years on this earth have taught me many important things…

Always wipe downwards and away from the body rather than up and towards. (I learnt that one from an all too bitter experience.)

Go to the toilet before a long car journey.

Don’t eat yellow snow.

Think once, think twice, think don’t drive your car on the pavement.

And lastly I’d like to leave you with this thought- If a man says something, and there are no women around to hear him, is he still wrong? (Sorry Kreg and Ricky)

MCBN- Thanks so much for that valuable input Aunt Muriel, I’m sure everyone learnt something… To all of you readers out there- keep those problems coming (just remember to let us know that its for Aunt Muriel, otherwise we’ll just think you’re weird)

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Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...