Africa’s Gays: Gladiator Moffies

De Waterkant in Cape Town is a fabulous location with divinely orientated she-he’s and flamboyantly opulent he-she’s. One of the gay capitals of the planet, it enjoys tolerance and acceptance for any man who can sing Celine Dion in F sharp and any woman with a goatee. In fact the society is so cosmopolitan that you can get Cosmo’s in draught form. Yet it lies, bewildered and alone, at the tip of a dark continent of bigotry stuck in medieval times without any form of cognitive rationalization or compassionate understanding of how contemporary civilized society operates. Africans try so hard to remove themselves from the stereotype of third world poverty and “mud huttery” yet they fail to come to terms with equality and just letting every man do his thing. If I want to dress up as an Austrian Viking Hooker and stick my dick in an apricot pie, how on earth does this make any difference in your life? “As long as the pie isn’t our dessert” you’ll hear them say. Well don’t fucking eat a dick pie then idiots.

I take my hat off to Africa’s homos. It’s a bloody gauntlet just to take a taxi to work in the morning. Narrow minded hetros often convince themselves that lesbians are nothing more than blonde haired pillow fighters with well-groomed muffs and penchants for all-girl orgies. And while I do wish this as gospel truth, they are regular individuals and you would probably be none the wiser, even if her breasts happen to bap you on the chin. A recent taxi rank murder, where three obscure individuals let rip into an innocent bystander who happened to favour the gammon curtain, for no other reason than having a dissimilar sexual preference, proves that intolerance is deeply entrenched among African culture. The news is littered with gay prejudice and this weird idea that gays are somehow the devil incarnate. Satan’s little helpers? But brutal murders are ok? African’s seem to have a reliance on culture without too much lateral thought.

The first argument that will arise is that it is against God. Nonhle Thema is the niece of Jesus, but Clay Aiken is Lucipher’s nephew? Nooit bru. Often nature is put forward as the cornerstone of “pure love” and the fact that animals aren’t into man on man is an indication that it was not God’s intended plan. This is however patently untrue and over 1500 different species of animal, birds, fish and insects have been caught making like Elton John in George Michael’s underwear drawer. Dolphins do it, and I challenge you to look me in the eye and say you’ve ever witnessed an evil dolphin. It’s this lack of understanding, of clinical scientific evidence, that seems to twist the African culture and moral ethos into a bigoted sense of self-importance: heaven forbid their culture is proven wrong!

African leaders have created a fallacy that homosexuality is a European creation. It has to do with an inferiority complex within many African leaders due to the effects of colonization on their general egos. King Goodwill Zwelithini damned the gays as “rotten” recently, all be it while wearing an endangered leopard skin loin-cloth and sleeping with over 2000 under-age virgins, but god forbid Thabo buys Mark a Mai-Thai. Uganda’s ministry is in the process of passing a law that punishes homosexuality with death, but let’s focus on that rather than the largest street-orphan population in Africa. At least he wears a funky hat. Props.

Africa seems intent on playing the victim; Mugabe is always on about sanctions. But they aren’t against his people, just him and his cronies. And when you call gays “worse than pigs and dogs” and condemn everyone who doesn’t think your Hitler ‘tache is a blue-steel moment, you cant really be the good guy. Either way, until Africa starts keeping up with acceptance and contemporary ethical values, and stops hiding behind “culture” as a defence for homophobic abuse, it will always be seen as a backward 3rd world tribal culture. Just because someone is different doesn’t make them wrong, hell ive been campaigning for red-head genocide since I was a tween, but them fuckers keep on breeding, and slowly im learning that that’s ok.


Follow @Stroobz on Twitter for more debate about the demonic homosexual race and videos of fat asian kids on motorbikes.

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  1. Hear Hear!
    But did you know… That Dolphins rape people?
    I havent witnessed it I know (thank sweet mary), but google that shit – Its real.

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