In our world of instant coffee and well just about instant everything the one night stand or booty call has all but replaced the need to shack up and take long undisturbed romantic walks on the beach. In the past it has been said that men tend to enjoy casual sex more than women do and now science has confirmed what most of us have assumed all along.
One of the 1st studies that examined both the positive and negative emotions felt after sex with a stranger/casual sex has revealed that women in general haven’t as yet adapted to the act of casual sex as well as men have. Anne Campbell from Durham University in the UK says that 54% of the women involved in the study experienced feelings of sexual satisfaction and contentment after a one night stand as opposed to 80% of the men who had engaged in a bonk and run who took part in the research. In my opinion this may have been due to the guys just being rubbish in bed, but it does seem to ring true in the experiences shared by the 20-something girls and boys in my friend-group with most of my girl friends feeling a touch of regret along with unhappiness after a booty call. The sad thing is that most of them also admitted to the fact that they would be more likely to engage in a one night stand if they felt that there was a chance of forming a long-term relationship. And my guy friends… well not so much.
Those who conducted the study say that these results can be explained from the Darwin-esque evolutionary perspective that men are more likely to reproduce another generation of rugby watching, beer drinking womanisers if they “mate” with a variety of partners thus stemming the need to “sow their seed” so to speak with many respective women. Women on the other hand prefer quality over quantity when it comes to the DNA of their offspring hence a desire to stick to one sexual partner only.
I tend to disagree with this fairly one dimensional view of this sexual phenomenon. I have met my fair share of women who are not the least bit interested in anything other than getting their plumbing checked out after a night out on the town. Sometimes men do want a bit more than a one night stand- we have emotions and relationship needs too you know.
Whether you’re the girl or guy who’s not looking for anything more than one night only hanky panky, continued behaviour of this sort can lead to poor physical and mental health along with the formation of set behaviour patterns in relationships that make intimacy and commitment a big problem down the line. There is also the other person to think about- maybe they’re not aware of the fact that you intend never to call back, maybe they’re expecting a bit of hand-holding and trips to the chocolate factory. TRY YOUR BEST not to be a heartbreaker!
Physiologically there is also a great risk of catching a nasty STD. Since these hookups usually occur after a night out at a club/bar or party there’s a higher likelihood of risky sexual behaviour taking place. So please if you do go for the wam bam thank you WAITRON (it’s the only gender neutral term I could think of at the time) be sure to do so safely and ALWAYS INSIST on using a condom.
There are 5 basic rules for the one night stand: adapted from blogs.smh.com.au
Rule 1: Use protection
Its more than likely that if your one night stand is willing to come home with you, they have in the past, also been willing to go home with Tom, Dick, Harry and his uncle during the course of their dating life. This inevitably means that your fling has been swapping a whole lot of bodily fluids with their one-nighters, so you never know what the lucky bag of STD’s holds in store for you.
Rule 2: Keep it casual
If you’re only looking for a casual fling, keep it strictly to after hours meet ups. Lunches, coffee dates and expensive dinners can turn the simplest booty-call buddy into a love-crazy stalker wanting to spill their emotions and have a relationship. Cuddling, hanging out or spending the night is also not advised.
Rule 3: Don’t introduce them to your friends
There is a chance that your booty-call buddy is actually looking for a relationship and if you let them meet your mates, there’s the chance that they might like this person and convince you that this romance is a good idea and then before you know it you’re back in a relationship without even wanting to really be there- no more booty calls for you.
Rule 4: Don’t buy your booty-call buddy gifts
This relationship or lack thereof should be about one thing and one thing only: late-night sex- ok it doesn’t have to be at night but you get what I’m trying to say.
Rule 5: Beware of the emotional booty call
A relationship with a booty-call buddy who has feelings for you never ends well. Avoid this at all costs and let them know from the get-go that you’re not into a relationship and, if they are, they need to get this from someone else.
So bonk away girls and boys… don’t say I didn’t warn you.