10 Reasons I think it’d be kiff to be Santa Clause

Here at MyCityByNight we are really big fans of the festive season because it gives us all a chance to spend time with our friends and family- eat tons of food and have super awesome parties (which we always share with you the alumni!!). Given that it is that time of the year I thought it was necessary to take a look at good ol Santa Clause and the intricacies of his job.

These are my top 10 reasons why I think that it’d be kiff to be Santa Clause…
1. You would never have to worry about what to wear to the office everyday. There’s just that red suit.
2. Buy one big black belt and you just bought the only accessory that you’ll ever need.
3. Everybody would be super nice to you even if you kidnapped puppies and blinded nuns by reflecting the sun’s rays with a mirror into their eyes in your spare time (provided they didnt own one of the puppies or were one of the blinded nuns).
4. There’d be no need for an HR department to help sort out the nitty-gritty of office politics- a big fat ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who’s boss.
5. You wouldn’t ever need to buy an expensive ipad. Actually you wouldn’t need to buy anything because you could just get the Elves to make it.
6. You’d never again have to worry about getting arrested for drinking and driving- or flying and drinking. or whatever.
7. No more trips down to the local KFC…you’d just snack on milk and cookies all day (FOR FREE!).
8. You’d never be asked to take an early retirement package.
9. You could never get arrested for breaking and entering and could probably hook up with a really kinky mooiness with a Santa Clause fantasy fetish at least once each Christmas Eve.
10. You never have to manscape and girls (i use this term loosely to avoid sounding like a paedo) are still willing to be “good” for you… If the beard looks like that- just imagine what the undergrowth around forest trees looks like? Eeek.

Hmm now there’s a reason to put on a few kg’s this festive season. Some more gravy with that??? Dont mind if I do 🙂

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Im a guy with a very particular view of life... im not quite sure what that view is just yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know...